Monday, June 16, 2014

#RealBloggerBeauty with Charmingly Styled

I'm really happy to be linking up with Maya of Charmingly Styled for her #realbloggerbeauty campaign. Today, along with Maya and many other bloggers, I'm taking a break from the perfectionism that seems to dominate the blogging world these days and getting personal by sharing a bit more about myself, my life and all the perfectly imperfect things that go along with it.


I really love blogging - it's my passion. Sharing my interests through Cupcakes & Couture, including my recipes, outfits and more, keeps me fulfilled. On top of that, I've met so many fantastic bloggers from Boston and beyond who have become my real {and virtual} friends. But blogging and everything that comes along with it isn't all peonies and French macarons and sequins, although I do admit I have a fair amount of those things in my life. As someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety and perfectionism for as long as I can remember, it's tough for me not to constantly compare myself to other bloggers and feel sad, anxious or not good enough, especially those who have "made it" it in this brand new business of blogging. In the Pinterest-perfect world we all live in nowadays, it's easy to look at other female bloggers and and feel inadequate because their lives seem so glamorous. Why can't I be as skinny, as stylish, as great of a baker? Why don't I own a Chanel bag and Louboutins and have a huge, luxurious apartment that's impeccably decorated? Why does it seem like everyone around me is able to find the one thing I really want in life - to be in love and have a successful, happy relationship - but I'm still alone? If I let myself focus on these thoughts and compare myself to those whose lives seem perfect, I'm never going to be happy, and I'm never going to appreciate all of the amazing things I do have going on in my life.

I rarely talk about my personal life on my blog, and in order to maintain some privacy in my life, I'm never going to write about anything extremely difficult for me to deal with or serious issues from my past. But, as a first step of sorts, I'm going to get real today because let's face it: NO ONE'S life is perfect, even though it may seem to be on Instagram or Facebook. Here are some real facts about me and my life as a blogger - things I may not shout from the rooftops because I'm afraid of being viewed as imperfect or worried that others might think I'm a bit of a mess.

-My apartment is only 400 square feet and I struggle fitting everything into my closet. I need to use the trunk of my car for extra storage. My couch is scratched to pieces thanks to Phoebe {and now little Oliver too.} I sleep on a mattress in the loft and don't even own a bed frame!

-Blogging isn't my "real" job, which I'm sure most of you know. During the day, I'm the Executive Assistant to the President of a small financial firm, and spend my 9 hours in the office completing such tasks as booking, re-booking and re-re-booking flights for him and his family, taking his car to be serviced at Colonial Volkswagen of Medford {I've become pretty close with the technicians there}, buying birthday gifts for his nieces and nephews who I've never met and calling the County Sheriff's office to try and clear his outstanding traffic violations. At the end of some days:

-Although I get to attend a lot of fun events as a blogger, some of which require getting dressed up and include amazing gift bags, a typical evening for me goes a bit more like this:

-No matter how well I eat or how much I pay a personal trainer, my stomach is never flat. To be totally honest, it jiggles when I walk. I've been told that cutting carbs and dairy may solve this problem, but I refuse to give up mac & cheese because I like it wayyy too much.

-I've been single for over a year now. I'm not going to lie - it gets lonely. I went on one vacation totally alone and one vacation partially alone last year. I'm a really independent person, but I do wish I was in love and had someone to share my life with. This often means I have to do single people things that suck, including carrying heavy items up many flights of stairs, building Ikea furniture by myself and going to weddings alone.

-I buy 99% of the things I'm wearing in my outfit posts. Although I have made some great partnerships and have been sponsored by a handful of amazing brands, I'm not at the point yet where people are sending me free designer clothes/bags/shoes/accessories, although I wish that was the case!!!

-I do not wake up looking like this, although I wish I could say I do. Here is a more accurate representation of what I wake up looking like:

yes, that's a Breathe Right strip I'm wearing.

So, in the spirit of being real and embracing my insecurities, I thought I'd give up the vanity for minute and include a few outtake photos from outfit shoots/events that didn't quite make the cut when I was editing for my posts.
hey everyone! here's my butt.

is this my resting bitch face?


watch me do a sexy hair flip.

hey everyone! here are my boobs.


hold on, I have to get my wedgie first...

does this pose make me look good?

to answer the previous question: no.

wait don't take the photo yet!


just taking a minute to drop a beat during the photo shoot.

and because I don't always feel like I can accurately describe everything I'm trying to convey with my own words, here's a song from one of my favorite artists that might just do it for me.


Make sure to tell me what's real about your life or share your own insecurities in the comments below. I hope you'll join in with the #realbloggerbeauty campaign today!

50 comments :

  1. haha those photos are adorable! I hear ya on all of these- mainly never having a flat stomach (yikes!) and having busy jobs on top of blogging. I always show the real parts of me on my blog (the embarrassing moments, stories of my depression, etc.) and I love reading others doing the same like you in this post!

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    1. i do love how you always get real and share your personal stories with us on your blog! i don't do it very often, so this is definitely a first step for me because i tend to keep a lot hidden/private.

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  2. Love love love this honest post. I like seeing the real side of the bloggers I follow and its inspiration for everyone. I am often left feeling so inadequate in a number of ways after browsing some of the top bloggers and sites around the web. But I have to remember this... and that everyone only puts their very best (or fake best) forward!

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    1. it really is true - everyone does put their best foot forward, whether it be real or fake. i often have to take a step back and remind myself that no one is perfect and remember to celebrate all the good things i have going on.

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  3. You are just too cute!! Totally love how real you are and you're so right - it's tough not to try to compare yourself with others you see on instagram and out in the blogging world!! I am loving all the Mindy references as well!! I'm so happy to have met you through this little blogging world and can't wait for more events and cupcakes :)

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    1. thank you! and i feel like mindy really gets me...haha!

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  4. AHHHH AMY I LOVED this post. Every single aspect! Sometimes, especially in the blogging world, it is nice to know that not everyone's lives, pictures, outfits, etc. are PERFECT. Because some days it truly seems that way and sometimes I let it affect me! Thank you for putting yourself out there, and girl, I am the same way, I will never give up my Mac n' cheese ;) :) I love your blog and everything you share here! So keep doing your thing!!!!!!!!!

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    1. giving up mac & cheese would be a sin. :) i think it's easy for us to compare ourselves to other women, and it's not always a bad thing until it makes us feel down on ourselves. thanks for your positive feedback!!!

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  5. Love this post, Amy :) Blogging is definitely a crazy world. I get similar feelings about not living in a cool enough city, not having money to buy new clothes very often, and lately, comparing myself to fellow pregnant bloggers who are ALL belly and [seemingly] no weight gain elsewhere.

    Btw, I've taken tons of photos that will never see the light of day, haha.

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    1. the majority of these photos shouldn't see the light of day either...but it's too late now, haha!! xoxo

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  6. dang, girl. Thank you.

    This is essentially how I feel every day, so it's incredibly reassuring to hear that someone as "perfect" of yourself suffers from these sentiments too.

    You really articulated honestly and clearly the extreme comparisons that come with blogging and just how difficult it is to focus on YOUR happiness, rather than that of someone else.

    Bravo for this post, and thank you for sharing.

    -Gabby

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    1. thank you so much for your positive feedback :) i'm glad you think i articulated it well because i wasn't quite sure i did!!

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  7. i love your profile pic Amy it is a beautiful photo of you!

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  8. Hey Amy,

    I logged on to see your post because of your adorable instagram picture!

    You should never compare yourself to another profile or "web life" of a blogger. The beauty is being who you are, today and tomorrow. I think connecting with your inner most feelings is where it is at; people choose to showcase emotion on various platforms, yet still want to protect their privacy while expressing themselves in this very transparent and competitive world. I like that you are down to earth, and I know you honestly care. These qualities come across very clearly in your work, throughout your blog, and in person. Don't worry about what's happening in the blogosphere, what's happening in your heart?

    xo
    Alexis

    PS I really like mac n cheese too, even though I shouldn't eat it!!!
    www.alexiskletjian.com

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    1. thank you so much alexis - this comment made my day. it makes me happy to know that you think those qualities come through in my blog, because sometimes i can't tell! i really appreciate it!

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  9. I love love love this!! I love your sense of humor and can relate on so many levels. A lot of times it seems like I need to be keeping up with what every other blogger is doing and I'm slowly but surely learning that it's okay to go at my own pace and in my own direction. Those GIFS and your photos are pretty much amazing:D

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    1. thank you megan! :) i think most of us try to "keep up" with others too often when we should just focus on ourselves. xo

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  10. love this post amy!!! and those pictures of mindy make me so so happy :) xox

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    1. thanks shaheen! i felt like the mindy GIFs helped my point of not trying to sound like i was complaining but just trying to be honest - adding a little humor always helps!

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  11. I can definitely relate to drinking red wine on the couch and refusing to give up carbs and dairy :-) There are some things in live that are totally worth missing a fancy event or not having six pack abs!

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    1. yep, it's all about choices, and i choose mac n cheese every time :)

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  12. Amy this post was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of you for being so real (each one of these things is a reason why I love you so much!) You are a wonderful person and ALL of us are secretly a mess (and there is no shame in it!) Keep on doing what you're doing, I know there will be fantastic success (and lots of love) in your future!!!!!! xoxoxo

    p.s. Never give up mac and cheese. seriously. never.

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    1. thank you so much :) your feedback means a lot to me!! embracing the messiness of my life is something i'm trying to do more often, even though it's REALLY hard for me. and i won't give up mac & cheese - it'll likely be the last thing i request on my deathbed. hahah

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  13. Love these blooper shots, so funny and so real! I agree with you whole heartily on the mac'n'cheese. My stomach will never be flat, but I'm not giving up booze or carbs so it will stay that way for life. For that reason, I appreciate it!

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    1. thank you katie :) i forgot to mention my love of red wine too, ha!

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  14. Loved this post girl. I loved your realness. I can definitely relate to things you said! Also, love the blog blooper shots ;) Too cute.

    Aisha

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  15. I loved this post amy! such honesty.

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  16. Absolutely love your blogging outtakes + moments of getting real real :) I relate on SO many levels!!

    xo

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    1. so glad to hear that lauren :) it's nice to know i am not alone!

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  17. aw, i loved this. your honesty rocks.

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  18. First off, your use of gifts is TREMENDOUS - dear lawd, you are my spirit animal basically. Also, thank you for sharing the not-so-glamorous adventures of being a real blogger - who balances a million things, wants to drink wine and watch PLL at the end of the long day, and struggles to fit things in her closet. You and I have a lot in common :) xx

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    1. i am happy to be your spirit animal :) thanks again for starting this amazing campaign!

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  19. Amy, thank you so much for sharing your story! Believe me when I say that I have been in your shoes (not heels!) when it comes to small apartments, slaving away at a job you don't like very much, and being single. Blech! Anyhow, I loved the humor you used to be real about your struggles. It's awesome and amazing! Not only are you hilarious, but you are beautiful and gorgeous as well. Go Red Sox!

    Mark

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    1. thanks so much mark :) we need a little humor to deal with everything, right?!

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  20. Girl, I feel you on all of those points....and I have definitely been caught picking a wedgie during a shoot. It is mortifying, but at the end of the day, life would be so boring if we didn't have those outtakes to look back on. Thanks for the laughs, lady!

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    1. haha i had so many outtakes that i couldn't include them all...i never said i was photogenic! ;) glad you could relate!!

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  21. Amy, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this post. I feel like so often we get caught up in the picture perfect version life, that we have a false sense of reality. It’s nice to see the real side (which is fantastic). That it takes 300 photos to get one and that it’s okay to not have a sponsored closet. I am so happy that you shared this! I hope it inspires more people to be “real”.

    xo
    Lianna

    p.s. I always keep at least 3 boxes of Annies and Kraft Mac and Cheese in the house

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    1. thanks lianna :) it is easy to get caught up in the strive for perfection, and i'm super guilty of it. good call on the annies - my favorite too!

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  22. I loved this post - bravo for honest. I worry about the same flaws...the tummy. But I'd rather live life and enjoy it then have regret and for that you should be most proud.

    Thanks for your comment yesterday - meant to much!

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    1. thank you! i agree with you about living life and enjoying it :) xo

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  23. ahahaha this post is too fun...I should make a similar one me too!!! so many funny pics came out while shooting ;)))))
    big hugs.

    g.

    THE CIHC
    FACEBOOK
    BLOGLOVIN


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  24. I'm so glad I'm not the only blogger that buys 99% of the stuff she wears! I've read some blogs where entire outfits worth $1K or more are "c/o" and I'm like "what, I just bought this at Kohl's, and bought this at Savers, and THIS I've had since high school". I'm also a total slob, but that's a post for another time ;)

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    1. haha i totally feel you! i think a lot of people who don't blog just assume that all bloggers get everything free - so not the case!!

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  25. Your outtakes are perfectly hilarious. I loved reading your story!

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